Robyn's Mental Health Tips

Mental health STIMULUS plan!

Robyn — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:10:34 +0000

What if you can’t sleep,
mind won’t shut off,
are worrying all the time,
feel like you have no motivation to get out of bed or off the couch?
What can you do to help yourself?
Have you ever had one of those bad days?
You know—not just sort of bad, but really bad?
Messy, painful, frustrating…….Haven’t we ALL??

I have found it to be very helpful to create a LIST of things we can do to get OUT of this ‘blah’ place. The reason I like this is that we all know there are things we can do for ourselves, but when we are IN that space, we have a much harder time THINKING OF THEM! So, if you make a list of ideas when you are feeling ok, then you can more easily remember ONE THING to do!

I can only give you examples, but hopefully you can make a “BAIL-OUT” list that works from you using this as a guide.

•    BREATHE!
•    Go for a walk, or some other physical activity (it really DOES help to release pent up energy!)
•    Call a friend (be HONEST about what you are feeling and need from them!)
•    Volunteer somewhere or help a friend (you can’t think or worry while you are doing for someone else!)
•    Start a gratitude journal (you can find at least one thing a day to be grateful for, and you might be surprised how many more!)
•    Do one nice thing for yourself. What is it that you have been wanting to do but keep getting put off? DO IT NOW!
•    Play with a pet
•    Watch or play with a child
•    DISTRACT your mind! Do something mindless, watch tv, read……..but just for a while. You don’t want to get lost in this, but sometimes doing something totally different will give you a new perspective when you go back to the ‘worry’ to solve!
•    Find something to laugh about, or smile at!
•    What hobby have you always wanted to start, or used to love but got away from? Do it!
•    Cry, scream, let it out! (Appropriately, of course) We need to give ourselves permission to have our feelings, and THEN they can more easily dissipate, but if we resist them, they will hang around longer!
•    Always remind yourself that “this too will pass”
•    Keep pad and paper by your bed………sometimes it is VERY helpful to get to sleep after you have ‘purged’ your mind of all the ‘to-do’ things that the mind wants to be preoccupied by!

NEEDS

Robyn — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 16:07:45 +0000

The funny thing about needs that I have begun noticing is how hard we try not to have them. Beyond the basic needs of food, water, shelter, we don’t want to need or risk appearing needy to ourselves or others. The irony of this is that we are created to have needs of many kinds. We need to be liked, loved, appreciated, connected and a whole list of other emotional needs. We are made that way! So, ignoring or denying our needs only serves to make us miserable, lonely, discouraged and maybe even bitter. If we can acknowledge to ourselves that we have needs and those needs deserve to be met, whether that be by ourselves or from others, we are in a much more healthy place emotionally! Don’t misunderstand however, that I am not saying that another person HAS to meet our needs, or that they will even WANT to meet our needs. All I am saying is that we expend much of our energy trying NOT TO NEED! But we do anyway, so being ok with that is very freeing, and honestly, how can we possibly get our needs met if we are unwilling to share them with ourselves and/or others?

Dr. Johnson needs our help! (Family Rules plan guy! :o)

Robyn — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:07:11 +0000

Hi all! This email comes as a shock to me and a reminder of how things can change in a hurry. As I am in the same position as Dr. Matthew Johnson in private practice, I can too clearly imagine some of what he is going through not being able to do what you love and what feeds the family! This is a man that I have met, have consulted w/ on the phone about starting my private practice as well as regarding clients and families. His book (check out the website, it is awesome! www.family-rules.com) is fantastic and I have been using it, giving it to clients, and referring families to his program for 2-3 years now. Since I know him, I have not called any of the phone #’s he lists to verify this story, but would not blame you if you wanted to. All I ask is that you search your hearts and do what is right and feasible for you. I feel moved to send what I can (maybe more than once). He is right w/ the statement too, that we cannot assume others are helping him out, especially w/ the economy and things tight as they are. Whatever small amount we can send WILL help out, and his work deserves to continue to help others all over the world and in turn help him in a time of need! THANK YOU, and again, do what feels right!
Robyn Yost, MA, LPC
P.S. And one last thing…..he very generously offers an autographed copy of his new book. I know the book is PHENOMENAL, and highly recommend it, but at the same time, if it doesn’t apply to you or someone you know, maybe you would like to indicate that he keep your copy to sell? Up to you all………!

I’m desperately begging for your help! Please help my family too!!
Dear Family, Friends, and Professional Colleagues,
First things first: This is NOT a scam letter. I’m a married man, a psychologist, and I have four children. In January of 2009, I sustained
a SEVERE CLOSED HEAD BRAIN INJURY and I’ve been without work for the past six months. I know some of us Americans are all going through economic hard times at this point in our lives. However, out of major medical and financial desperation, I am writing you because I strongly believe that my present circumstances are more emotionally and physically overwhelming than you could ever imagine. As I have already shared with you, I have been without work for 6 months. I have depleted all assets, and at present, I do not qualify for unemployment benefits or social security disability. Please believe me. I’ve tried and tried. I have creditors calling me every day and my credit is shot. I swear to you, this is a true story. If you feel it necessary to verify whether or not this is a true story, please consider calling the following contact phone numbers: Dr. Matthew A. Johnson (Cell: 1-541-499-2816/Hm: 1-541-956-5942); My wife, Amanda Johnson (Cell: 1-541-499-2821/Hm: 1-541-956-5942); My elderly father, Arthur H. Johnson (Cell: 1-541-450-0980); My best friend, Dr. Marquis Nuby (1-940-536-9059); and my family physician, Dr. Robin Miller (1-541-842-9433).
Prior to sustaining my Severe Closed Head Brain Injury in January of 2009, I was a psychologist in private practice in beautiful Grants Pass, Oregon (i.e., southern Oregon). I also wrote a parenting book, “Positive Parenting with a Plan (Grades K-12): FAMILY Rules. I spoke in 80 cities per year for eight straight years all over the USA, Canada, and in some parts of Europe too. Life was going very well. My parenting program was being used in public and private schools, university and seminary settings, state agencies, foster care agencies, juvenile court agencies, adoption care agencies, and even the Los Angeles Superior Family Court System was mandating their parents to use my parenting book as a part of their
divorce settlement. Group Homes, Residential Treatment Facilities, and Psychiatric Hospitals were using my “Positive Parenting” program too. This was the fastest growing parenting program in the USA.
Then in January of 2009, while on a speaking tour in Georgia, everything changed. I arrived at a hotel at 11:30pm at night. The entrance doors
were locked. I got the attention of the hotel clerk behind the counter. She pressed a button and waved for me to come inside the hotel. I opened the door and ducked to walk under the standard 6 foot 8 inch door jam. I stand 6 feet 10 inches with my shoes on. Well, unbeknownst to me, hidden behind the closed door (and without a warning sign) was a solid metal four inch magnetic box hanging down from the door jamb which lowered the clearance level down to 6 feet 4 inches high. WHAM!!!!! I caught the full impact of the tip of the pointy corner of the solid metal box onto the top left frontal lobe of my head and ended up in the EMERGENCY ROOM 15 minutes later.
Yes, I hit the floor and passed out. Everything was white and fuzzy. Afterwards, the hotel clerk said that my head hit the box so hard that it sounded as if my head should have come off my body when I hit it.
Well, I got my complete speech back three months later. However, I’ve been really struggling to get my short-term memory and my cognitive-processing abilities back ever since then. I’m also struggling with light sensitivity (i.e., I have to wear sunglasses about 90% of the time) and noise
sensitivity issues. I also have emotional regulation problems which means I’m in the running for “A-Hole” of the year. Finally, I’ve been experiencing non-stop pain since the day I hit my head in January of this year. On a scale of 1 to 10, without medication, I’m constantly experiencing a 7 or an 8. When I’m on pain medication, my pain level is as low as a 2 or a 3.

Ever since January of 2009, my pain levels have spiked up to 10’s on several occasions. In the past six weeks, they have escalated to 10’s on three occasions and I have ended up in the emergency rooms in order to break the pain cycles. Recently, I was in the Rogue Valley Medical Center in Medford, Oregon for eight straight days due to pain management. Imagine how much those medical bills are going to be for eight total days? Do you feel like crying yet? Because I cry every day. By the way, imagine experiencing your worst migraine headache and then multiplying that x100. Then put your brain in a vice-grip and squeeze it really hard, then pour acid on your brain and set it on fire. Finally, have someone plunge a butcher knife into your brain and wiggle it back and forth and then you’ll begin to understand what my “spiked 10″ headaches actually feel like.

The reason why I am writing you this letter of desperation is because I have been an unemployed psychologist for six months. I have not been able to see any private practice clients for six months because it would be unethical for me to do so (i.e., severe short-term memory and cognitive processing impairment issues along with emotional regulation problems). Also, I have been unable to speak in my usual 80 cities per year all over the USA, Canada, and Europe as I have been doing for the past eight years because my body just can’t physically take it right now. Not only haven’t I not been working for the past 6 months but I was just told by two doctors earlier this week that I most likely I won’t be able to work for the next six to eighteen months either. This is truly heart breaking for someone like me who has always been a “go-getter-done” type of guy my whole life. The good news is that we finally have an excellent aftercare plan team established which involves a pain specialist, a psychiatrist, and a brain
specialists in Bend, OR and Seattle, WA who understand “Post-Concussive Syndrome.”
I’ve pretty much already told you just how bad my finances are. I cry myself to sleep every night. Yes, I have an attorney to help litigate the case in Georgia. No, there won’t be any pay out for another four years and that’s if they don’t appeal. This could go on for six to ten years before the appeals processes have been exhausted. Yes, I’ve looked into financial assistance. No, we don’t qualify because of my past income levels and bad credit caused by my current crisis. We are truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. That’s why I’ve resorted to this humiliating process of
begging for money. Are you beginning to catch on as to how desperate I truly must be to have to write a letter like this to you?
In the mean time, my only means of making any kind of an income is by selling my self-published positive parenting books (English and Spanish)
and my seminar on DVD via my website. The nice thing about the six months of down time is that I’ve had plenty of time to revise my book, “Positive Parenting with a Plan (Grades K-12): FAMILY Rules”. I’ve had several friends with healthy brains to help me catch all of my editing mistakes. My parenting book is being used all over the USA, Canada, Europe, Africa, India, Central and South America, Australia, and Asia. The problem that I’m having is that you have to spend money in order to make money. In other words, I have to order books to create an inventory in the warehouse in order to sell them in bookstores or on line via my website (www.Family-Rules.com). My inventory is running dangerously low and I don’t have the financial funds to replenish my inventory. I NEED MONEY!!!! No inventory = no books to sell = no money to pay bills or feed my kids.
This is where you come in. I am desperately asking and/or begging you for your help. Due to my Severe Closed Head Brain Injury, I have no income. Due to my Severe Closed Head Brain Injury, I have no potential of working for another six to eighteen months. Therefore, I’m asking and/or begging you to consider helping me and my family out. I’m asking and/or begging you to consider simply writing out a $25, $50, $75, $100, or a larger check out to (PLEASE mail the check to my self-publisher – NOT to me):

Intermedia Publishing Group
PO Box 2825
Peoria, Arizona
85380
(In the Memo Section of your check, Please designate Dr. Matthew A. Johnson as the recipient of your very generous gift). In return, I will send you a FREE autographed copy of my revised book. This is NOT a tax deductable gift but I will give you a BIG hug! ….and that’s a BIG HUG coming from someone whose 6′9″ tall and 320 lbs.
Please understand that there is no way on God’s green earth that I would ever be writing you a letter like this if I wasn’t in an extremely
emotional, physical, and financial desperate situation. It humbles me to the point of tears to have to write this letter but I don’t know what else to do in order to feed my children. What I am asking you do be mindful of is to NOT be that one person who thinks there’s going to be enough other
people doing your job that you don’t need to step up to the plate and be your brother’s keeper. If there’s a still small voice inside your mind
encouraging you to write that check, will you please listen to it and please help out my desperate family? PLEASE!!!!

If the situation was reversed, I promise you that I wouldn’t even hesitate to send you a check because that’s the kind of guy I am. I seriously need
your help right now. I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t need your help. If you would like to forward this e-mail on to your family, friends, loved ones, church, synagogue, and/or other listservs or the media, I would appreciate anyone’s and everyone’s help that I can get. In the end, by helping me out by increasing my book inventory, you’re ultimately helping to make my book available to parents so they can do a better job of parenting with their children which makes our world a better place to live in for all of us. I promise that I will send you a FREE autographed copy of my book.
Thank you for your time and careful consideration. If you need to talk with me about my request for your financial help, please feel free to call me
on my cell phone: 1-541-499-2816

God Bless!

Dr. Matthew A. Johnson
P.O. Box 1801
Grants Pass, Oregon
97528
Phone: 1-(541)-956-8585
Fax: 1-(541)-955-7165
http://www.Family-Rules.com

P.S. Please don’t put off sending in your check. Every little bit helps and my family sincerely needs that little bit of help right now. God bless you for taking the time to respond!!!

Intermedia Publishing Group
PO Box 2825
Peoria, Arizona
85380

I would really appreciate it if you would take the time to forward this e-mail to all your family members, friends, coworkers, church members,
and other listservs in order to share our story as well as our needs. Thank you!!!

CHOICE

Robyn — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:31:22 +0000

If we say “I can’t” does that feel like we have a choice? Is that empowering us or dis-empowering us? Isn’t choice about being conscious of what we CAN do, and choose not to do? I love the word choice and all that it allows me to feel, change, do and be. I love to be able to say “I could, but I choose not to” instead of “I can’t.” To me that is a much more empowered place to come from, and allows me to acknolwedge that I could but for some reason am not ready, or it does not serve me. Think about this. Where in your life have you just ‘bought’ what others have told you and feel you have no choice? Where do you ‘use’ the words “I can’t” to cover up what you aren’t willing or don’t really want to do? Whenever we feel we have NO choice, it is very discouraging! So, I challenge you to become conscious of when and where you say “I can’t” and CHOOSE instead to tell yourself the truth….I could but I choose not to, or some such similar words!

Emotions are like the pendulum of a clock

Robyn — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:02:01 +0000

Are you familiar with this concept? Picture a clock in your head. When we are STUCK in one position (far right or left) our ‘pendulum’ of emotions does not swing freely and with balance. Therefore, when we do something (like counseling, self-help, etc.) to get ‘unstuck’ then the law of inertia will have the pendulum swinging all the way to the other side and it will have such force that it will probably stick on that side for a while, right? For example: If you have been a people pleasing door mat most or all of your life and you decide you are tired of it and begin working on your assertiveness and self esteem, you will inevitably go through a period of being more like aggressive, wanting to speak up and say NO to everyone. The opposite of how you have been. Does this make sense? So, I think it is important to be aware of this, as others around you might not respond so well to your new ‘changes.’ And you might think it is not worth it if you don’t know that this is a normal part of the process. After a period of adjustment, you will break free of this opposite reaction and begin swinging freely, eventually finding your own internal balance. Don’t be afraid of change, just know it might not look like you think!

Stress Management (2 of 2) 4/29/09

Robyn — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:45:42 +0000

Some of the more common techniques for coping w/ anxiety include meditation, thought stopping, reframing techniques. They work! But only if you work them! I learned early on that knowing and doing are VERY different, and you can be the smartest person in the world, but if you don’t practice, use your ‘tools’ then you will be smart and stressed! I used to hate hearing “breathe!” But you know what, when I became a therapist and no one would ever do it either when I suggested it, I started to have them do it with me, and not only did they learn that it does work, but it made both of us feel more calm immediately. Take a deep breath right now! Do it! It is not the answer, or the only answer, but it is a great first step. When you are feeling overwhelmed, panicked, stressed, worried, you cannot take a first step of action until you can breath! So do it! Then the thoughts will come a bit more easily, the steps might be more clear, because you took the time to do for yourself what you needed. It is hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes but we do have the answers if we can take the time/effort to see them! At the times when you feel least like you could/should take time for YOU, that is exactly when you NEED to. We waste SO much time worrying, not sleeping, ruminating, that when you really look at it, it would be much more time efficient to take a breath, do yoga for an hour or something, THEN face the problem, sleep on it and it will be easier to find the right (balanced) solution! I have SO many more ideas, words of wisdom, books, techniques, easy ‘how to’s’ but it all comes down to taking a step! Making a change. If your mind is out of shape, out of balance and has too much room for worry to seep in, you must make one small change at a time to take back that control, get it back in shape and then no matter what internal or external circumstance is going on around you, it will not seem so daunting! Hard to believe, yes. Hard to do, sometimes. Impossible, not at all! I know, because I am a huge worrier, and have faced and done all that I have just suggested. It works most of the time when I am willing to work with it (and myself) instead of against myself and resist my thoughts/feelings. What we resist persists………very profound statement! What you struggle against you will keep re-creating! So, now, my favorite Dr. Phil question: How’s that working for you????

Stress management (1 of 2)

Robyn — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:17:36 +0000

What is stress and how to we deal with it? Stress can be defined as anxiety, panic, worry, fear, depression, and can manifest in any of those forms or a myriad of others. We have all experienced stress to some degree or another, and more at some times of our lives than others. Stress/anxiety/worry can be internalized, caused by being ‘out of balance’ or deeper fears or reasons. Or, stress/anxiety/worry can be caused by external situations that we have no control over, such as the economy we are all concerned about right now. There is a healthy anxiety that drives us, that helps to motivate us to move through fear, to keep pushing ourselves toward our goals. But there is also unhealthy stress that feels as though it will consume us and paralyze us at times. How do we find the balance and be aware of our personal stress levels before they go from healthy to unhealthy? I believe the first stage is becoming aware of what we are thinking and feeling. When we are able to call it what it is, we take back the control that we need to manage it. We also must ‘own’ it and talk about it. When I am becoming more worried about something than I know is healthy but can’t seem to get it back in balance, I have to express it to someone and that takes it’s power away. I can call it what it is, define it a bit more and see it more clearly and more objectively. We make mountains out of moleholes, by allowing our minds to become sloppy, out of control, and if you were to liken it to the physical body, VERY out of shape! We have to take charge of those thoughts, feelings, actions, take responsibility for them and get our mind in shape just like we would/do our bodies! The first step is being willing! Become aware of what those negative/fearful/worry thoughts are. Panic can be not recognizing what is going on and feeling no control over it, right? Examining, exploring, not resisting the thoughts/feelings and working on staying objective can be a HUGE step in the right direction! We get nowhere by thinking that others won’t understand, can’t help, won’t help or will think we are ‘crazy.’ They would probably be relieved to know you, too, experience out of control thoughts/feelings! So share! Ask, talk, question, talk to yourself! More techniques next month………

Change of plans!

Robyn — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:43:28 +0000

Hello all! I am writing to tell you I am going to adjust my blog entries to monthly instead of weekly. I guess it is good news that I am getting busy and want to be sure to focus my energies where needed, eh?! So, will continue probably at the beginning of every month, beginning at the end of March! Thanks, and stay tuned for more words of wisdom! LOL

Robyn

“Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships; Healing the Wound of the Heart” by John Welwood

Robyn — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 14:22:25 +0000

“everyone knows perfect love in their heart, for the human heart is a direct channel through which absolute love pours into this world. At the same time, human relationships are imperfect expressions of that love. This creates a painful gap between the perfect love we know in our hearts and the imperfect, incomplete ways it is expressed in our relationships. When we imagine that relative human love should be something it is not–absolutely unconditional–we suffer disappointment and wind up distrtusting love itself. We also hold grievances against others for not loving us rightly or against ourselves for not having won that love. This gives rist to a universal human wound–the sense of not feeling loved for who we are.”

TRYING

Robyn — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:08:18 +0000

How do you TRY to do something? I have used example in my office of putting a pen in my hand and asking the client to ‘try’ to take it from me. It is AMAZING to me at the ways they try….grabbing, pushing, slapping. But none of them realize it is sort of a trick. You cannot TRY to take it! You either DO, or you DON’T. Think about it. They take the pen or they leave the pen. You cannot TRY to do anything! So, how often do we use that excuse when making plans, avoiding something distasteful, or not working on things we know we need to. “I’ll try to get to it.” I could give you a million examples in every day life when we (all) do it. So, begin being aware of that in your life. Change it to “I’m working on it” or something else that gives you more accountability in your languaging. Whenever I hear someone say “I’ll try” I KNOW they will NOT succeed or follow through. That is the way the brain is wired. This is a HUGE back door for us to not have to do what we may even have ‘promised’ ourselves or others that we will do! Stop trying and do it, OR say no (in some form or another)!!